Priyanka Kareena

From a tabloid:

In,Koffee with Karan, Kareena Kapoor who came along with beau Saif Ali Khan
in the show said, "I wonder where Priyanka got her accent from?"

When asked to comment on Kareena's query, Priyanka Chopra, who came along
with rumoured boyfriend Shahid Kapoor on Karan's show had a smart reply for
her arch rival, "I want to tell Kareena that I got my accent from the same
place where her boyfriend (Saif Ali Khan) got his," referring to Saif and
her education overseas.

Priyanka left no scope for doubt that the actors shared icy vibes, when she
was asked what would she steal from computers of Bollywood superstars like
Shah Rukh Khan, Shahid, Kareena and others. Priyanka giggled and asked,
"Does Kareena have a computer in the first place?"

Dec

Believe in your presence of mind !!! ....

Presence of mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In a shop a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The salesperson, a young boy,
said that only 1kg packs were available in the shop, but the man insisted
on buying only 1/2 kg. So the boy went inside to the manager's room and
said "An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter". To his
surprise, the customer was standing behind him. So the boy added
immediately, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!!!!!".

After the customer left, the manager said "You have saved your position
by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?". To this
the boy said, "I come from Mexico. The place consists of only prostitutes
and football players!!!!!".

The manager replied coldly, "My wife is also from Mexico ".

To this the boy asked excitedly, "Oh yeah? Which team does she play for?"

Madhuri is back

(See attached file: mads.jpg)
Madhuri said she dances daily and that keeps her slim....
looking at the pic,i feel i am so slim

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Refrigerator---Source of diseases?

Read DNA newspaper report at the following link:

http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report_your-refrigerator-is-key-source-of-diseases_1455271

 

 

Rajinikanth_99 Jokes

Just for fun!!!


1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.

7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.

8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.

10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.

11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.

12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.

13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.

14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.

15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.

16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.

18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.

20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.

22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.

23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.

24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.

25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.

28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.

30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.

31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.

34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.

35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.

37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.

38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.

42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.

43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.

44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.

45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.

46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.

47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.

48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.

49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.

50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.

51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.

53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.

55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.



56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.

61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.

62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.

64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.

66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.

67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.

69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.

70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.

71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.

72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.



73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.

74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.

75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.

76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.

77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.

79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.

80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.

81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.

82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.

83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.

84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.

86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.

87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.

90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.

91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.

92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.

93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.

94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.

95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Kids!!!

Pelican swallows pigeons!!!

Story from Mirror newspaper,UK!!

 

The unfortunate bird had been eating breadcrumbs near a lake when it was scooped up by the peckish predator.

A crowd gathered as the startled pigeon tried to escape during a frantic 15-minute period. At one point it looked like it was going to break free as the pelican opened its massive beak, allowing its plucky prey to gaze out into the distance.

But the exhausted creature missed its opportunity and, after finally running out of energy, was swallowed whole.

 

Photographer Paul Mansfield, 44, captured the dramatic scene in London's St James's Park.

He said: "I saw a crowd 'ooohhing' and 'argghhhing' at the side of a lake. The pelican would gulp and the pigeon would be sucked down but then came up flapping. The crowd was willing it to escape, shouting 'Come on, you can do it!'"

Pelicans were introduced into the park in the 17th century as a gift from the Russian ambassador. There are currently five living there - so pigeons beware!!!

Ash--- a very simple girl???

Ash has been the only reason for me to watch most of her movies.

 

Recently, Vipul Shah, the director of ACTION REPLAYY, said that Ash i s a very very simple girl, who's untoched by her global success.

Says Shah "Ash is still a very simple girl at heart and really, you don't even have to scratch the surface for that. All this success and glory has not touched her at all even till date. She is just as simple as she was when she had started off years ago."

 

I have always liked Ash, despite her fake accent and poor acting in many movies. But is she that simple ? or is this just a bull for the movie promotion?

KFC

Money can indeed bring happiness!!!
COMING SOOOOON

Old Bank practice.

...COMING SOON

True Friends!!!

Adversity tells u who your true friends are.......i found out during one of the biggest days of my life..

COMING SOON..........

True Friends!!!

Adversity tells u who your true friends are.......i found out during one of the biggest days of my life..

COMING SOON..........

Fatty Foods

I love junk food but like you all know,it is not healthy!!!!

Presenting Top 10 Fatty Foods at the following rediff link:

http://getahead.rediff.com/slide-show/2010/oct/18/slide-show-1-health-the-top-10-fatty-foods.htm

CONGRAAATS INDIA !!!

India has won an amazing 101 medals at the CWG 2010, Delhi. WoW!!!

 

 

Lisa Ray---cancer survivor

Read on:

 

http://www.hindustantimes.com/Lisa-starts-second-life/H1-Article1-613261.aspx

A Look at world's most expensive homes

Read on :

 

http://business.rediff.com/slide-show/2010/aug/25/slide-show-1-worlds-11-most-expensive-homes.htm

Vulgar display of Wealth!!!

Look at few pics of Mukesh Ambani's new home.

Humble Priyanka!!!

---Picked up the following paragraph from a website!!!!

 

Since her Miss World days some 10 years back, Priyanka has come a long way. She may be a million dollar actress now but hasn’t quite forgotten her humble roots. In fact, she can effortlessly recall her first salary of Rs 5000 which still remains unspent and treasured in the safety of her mom’s almirah.

Priyanka recounts, “Yeah! I still remember how happy I was when I drew my first salary. It was Rs. 5000. My mom never allowed me to deposit my first salary in the bank. She has treasured those notes with her to date. It feels great whenever I see those notes.”

Yes, getting first salary was such awesome feeling!!!

Mallika's research

I thought Mallika had better IQ than Kareena, Deepika and Sonam but I was proved wrong.

On asked what research did she undertake for the role of snakewoman in her upcoming flick 'Hiss",she replied

'I read extensively. I became aware that snakes are cold-blooded creatures; their vision is 180 degrees, they shed skin. Such was my research to pull it off convincingly.'

 

Really? This is "Reasearch?". Even kids know these facts about snakes.

May be some Western media will grant her a PhD for her extensive "research" on snakes.

Sameer's wedding on 10_10_10

My friend Sameer (aka Shameer) got married on 10-10-10.
After all the expenses incurred on my wedding, I have been travelling by train. I didnt have leaves, so I left for hometown Kasaragod on Friday night, 8-Oct-2010.
The train got delayed bya few hours, so I reached home late evening on Saturday,09-Oct-2010.
I discovered that Goa is just 11-12 hrs from Mumbai and the journey till there is not a bit tiring. May be my group should plan out a trip to Goa. What say Rahul/Delcy/Reshma/Poo/Yagnesh/Maulik??
There was a good looking young foreign lady in the compartment.She didn't have a reservation, so was sharing seat with anybody who would agree to!!!
On Sunday morning,went to Faisal's home at Melparamba (10 minutes away from my place) and we headed for the reception at ESSA HALL, Kumble. Nichu was already there, looking hale and hearty. He had taken the responsibility of dulha's makeup and dress.
After sometime, Fahad and cousin Siyam came.
Dulha Sameer looked good in stylish suit. He introduced us to the confident dulhan before we left the place.
It was really good attending the wedding and meeting my friends.
I expected Nichu to wear Pink as he announced in his facebook page that in October he is "going pink" to support breast cancer awareness!!!!
Fahad (probably the smartest among my friends) had us in splits and teased me throughout.
We left around 1pm and in the evening, I returned to Mumbai by "Garib Rath" train. Return Journey was good in this cheap but good AC train. Overall, a very hectic trip but I am glad I made it :-)

Are you drinking enough water?

The following article was emailed by a friend.    Drinking enough water ? Water   is an important structural component of skin cartilage, tissues and organs. For human beings, every part of the body is dependent on   water . Our body comprises about 75%   water : the brain has 85%, blood is 90%, muscles are 75%, kidney is 82% and bones are 22%   water . The functions of our glands and organs will eventually deteriorate if they are not nourished with good, clean   water . The average adult loses about 2.5 litres   water   daily through perspiration, breathing and elimination. Symptoms of the body's deterioration begins to appear when the body loses 5% of its total   water   volume. In a healthy adult, this is seen as fatigue and general discomfort, whereas for an infant, it can be dehydrating. In an elderly person, a 5%   water   loss causes the body chemistry to become abnormal, especially if the percentage of electrolytes is overbalanced with sodium. One can usually see symptoms of aging, such as wrinkles, lethargy and even disorientation.   Continuous   water   loss over time will speed up aging as well as increase risks of diseases. If your body is not sufficiently hydrated, the cells will draw   water   from your bloodstream, which will make your heart work harder. At the same time, the kidneys cannot purify blood effectively. When this happens, some of the kidney's workload is passed on to the liver and other organs, which may cause them to be severely stressed. Additionally, you may develop a number of minor health conditions such as constipation, dry and itchy skin, acne, nosebleeds, urinary tract infection, coughs, sneezing, sinus pressure, and headaches. So, how much   water   is   enough   for you? The minimum amount of   water   you need is 2-3 liters everyday.

Unbelievable pics :-)

7 ways your job could shorten your life

Read on :

 

http://getahead.rediff.com/slide-show/2010/oct/06/slide-show-1-career-7-ways-your-job-could-shorten-your-life.htm

 

Rajnikant's magic

Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is
Rajinikanth’s email id is gmail@ rajinikanth.com
Rajinikanth can drown a fish
Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes
Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone
Rajinikanth did, in fact, build Rome in a day
Rajinikanth electrocuted Iron Man
Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret
Rajinikanth killed the dead sea
Rajinikanth can divide by zero
Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of its corners off
Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice
Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano
When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down
Rajinikanth can delete the recycle bin

=====-----=====-----=====

Best Employers List

Read on :

  http://business.rediff.com/slide-show/2010/sep/30/slide-show-1-worlds-20-most-popular-employers.htm

Bank Agent's attitude

Recently, I got a call from a B**c**** bank agent regarding Personal Loan.

I was interested ,so requested him to explain the EMI and the interest rates.

He told me the interest rate but said EMI could be discussed at the bank.

I was called to the bank and the CRM was so eager to take the cheques and to get me sign the agreement.

I requested to explain the scheme. She did but there were so many extra charges that the agent had not told me about.

It would have been stupid of me to go for it as the final amount of interest they were taking was far too high.

I didn't give my cheques or sign the papers. Since then, the agent has been calling me multiple times a day.

He says "maine sanction karwaya hai, toh aaapko lena hoga"...whats this?

He's behaving like the bank has already give the money.After seeing this aggressive attitude of the agent as well as the CRM,I decided I am not going to do anything with this bank. Did anybody have a similar experience at any bank?

=====-----=====-----=====

Attitude

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Real Friend

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Juhi-Sridevi

Hi friends

Not been very active since quite some time. Trust me,I am gonna write more stuff and soon.Hope you guys will like it!

Please wait for sometime.
I was trying to get a grip on life as too many things have been happening off late.
Update you soon.
Cheers

wedding

August

hiiiiiiiiiiiiii

hi

...

hello May

......

hi

.

hi

Hello!!!

hiiiiiiiiiii

Despising workaholics!!!

There are many people who put in 14+ hours everyday at office...not just freshers but people with 7+ years of experience too.......
It is such a bad trend.Because of such people, there is pressure on others to put in extra hours too....these workaholics are losing their best years this way...trying 2 climb the ladder anyhow.......
If someone is intelligent enough, he should be able to achieve targets within the allotted office hours.
What is the big deal if you slog 14+ hours everyday at office, and on weekends too and then, you finish your targets/projects ahead of schedule? If you had worked only during office hours and achieved the same,yes, you need to be lauded.

BUT NO,sloggers are lauded at most places and encouraged too.............

Freshers do the slogging routine and then say that once they have a family, they will change.But old habits die hard.
I know such a person from my previous company....someone around 40 years...married with 2 kids.....
very often, he would leave home around 4am,5am,6am and go to office....even if ,it was not required..he just loved coming at such hours and sending mails to seniors and gathering accolades..for these,he leaves his poor wife and kids at such unearthly hours...

Though its their life, it affects others at workplace.And these people have a mad rush to learn any technology that some of their colleagues must be working on...They are just sooo boring..

Such people are very successful career-wise but in my humble opinion, they are not successful in life.
what is life if you can`t spend time with your family, friends or with nature ?

hiiiiiiiiiii

post to be updated soon

26/11 awakening

ss

Cool Message

Robot---funny

Kyle's Dad brought home a robot one day.
The robot had the ability to detect lies and would slap the person who lied.

Kyle returned late from school. Dad asked, Son why are you late from school'?
Dad, we had extra classes today,
Robot slapped Kyle on his face.

Dad shouted, "Come on tell me the truth, why are you late?"
Dad, I went to see the movie Ten Commandments,
Robot slapped Kyle on his face.

Sorry dad, I went to see the movie "Red Hot Queen".
"Shame on you son, when I was your age..
I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved"
Immediately, Dad gets a slap on the face from the robot.

Kyle's mom comes walking out of the kitchen and says to her husband,
"After all, he's your son!"
The robot slaps the mom.

Little Ash

What a family hai!!!

Lisa Ray is suffering from cancer

The beautiful model and actress, Lisa Ray, is suffering from cancer. She is just 37. But instead of feeling disillusioned, she is facing it front on.
This lady certainly has the guts. Wish her a speedy recovery, even though doctors claim that she has a rare and incurable cancer.

Go through the link for more story:

http://www.bollywoodmantra.com/news/lisa-ray-moves-on-in-life-boldly/4811/

=======================================================

Dats Cool...

Dat's cute

that's LARGE :-)

A Wedding at Pune @ the peak of Swine Flu

How did they manage to eat anything ?

A letter of Historic Importance

Akhil Chandra Sen wrote this letter to the Sahibganj divisional railway office in 1909. It is on display at the Railway Museum in New Delhi. It was also reproduced under the caption Travelers' Tales" in the Far Eastern Economic Review.

"I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station and my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit. I am therefore went to privy. Just I doing the nuisance that guard making whistle blow for train to go off and I am running with lotah in one hand and dhoti in the next when I am fall over and expose all my shocking to man and female women on platform. I am got leaved at Ahmedpur station.This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung that dam guard not wait train five minutes for him. I am therefore pray your honor to make big fine on that guard for public
sake. Otherwise I am making big report to papers."

Any guesses why this letter was of historic value?....................

It apparently led to introduction of toilets in trains.

Another Sardar Joke

100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.

The correspondent rushes to him and asks the sardar ji.

Correspondent: How did it happen?

Sardar: Oh ji pucho mat. Sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they.
Achanak announcement Hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne
suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye.
Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi.

Correspondent : Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode.

Sardar: o nahin ji main to suicide karne ki liye patri par hi leta tha.
Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya .

About a mom and her son!!!!!! try controlling ur tears....

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment.

She cooked for students & teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me.

I was so embarrassed.

How could she do this to me?

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school one of my classmates said, 'EEEE, your mom only has one eye!'

I wanted to bury myself.
I also wanted my mom to just disappear.
I confronted her that day and said, ' If you're only goanna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?'

My mom did not respond...
I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because
I was full of anger.
I was oblivious to her feelings.

I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married.
I bought a house of my own.
I had kids of my own.
I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, Then one day, my mother came to visit me.

She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited.

I screamed at her, 'How dare you come to my house and scare my children!' GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!'

And to this, my mother quietly answered, 'Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,' and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.

So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.

After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbors said that she died..
I did not shed a single tear.
They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

' My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you...
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were
growing up.

You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and
lost your eye.
As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you
having to grow up with one eye.
So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my
place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,
Your mother.

Send this to at least 5 people in the next 5 minutes to show you love your mother.

If you don't then it shows you have no heart

Always tell someone that you love them because you never know what day
will be their last, or your own.

Always seek to resolve your problems or disagreements with loved ones
because if either of you should pass on before, the one who is left alive will have the rest of their life to ponder those unresolved feelings but will never find closure. And closure usually brings
peace.

dats funny :-)

Customer : Waiter, do you serve pigs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

=====================================================================

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Why sarees do not suit everybody :-)

Just look at Serena and Venus.. They are not great lookers anyway but just look at them in sarees...

fruit of labour-Fun read

fruit of labour :-)



Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.

The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.


The first one came back and said to the king, 'I brought ten apples.' The king then explained the trial to him. 'You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten up.'


Two apples went in?.. But on the third one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.


The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, 'Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?'

The second one replied, 'I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples.'

Federer's twins

Why do we have sooo many meetings at office ???

Corporate shit ;-)

How Management works !!!

How to save your job

Something that happens in most offices...Something most people resort to....

Cute pics that speak volumes

Equations -!!!!

1. SSC + HSC + BTech + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT

2. An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com.

3. One Chinese gymnast = India's Gold Medal tally since 1896

4. Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.

5. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park.

6. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = a 4 minute
song in Hindi movie.

7. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + own
production company = Kajol

8. Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's favorite serials.

9. Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR.

10. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan - Talent = Abhishek Bachchan

11. Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan

12. 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda

13. 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan

14. 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay Dutt

15. 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol
And the last but not the least…


16. Software Engineer + No Work = Forwards

SIDE EFFECTS of working in the IT sector ! --- hillarious, AWESOME ;)

Bhavik

I once went out to the market wearing my Infosys ID card and did not realize
till my friend told me why I was wearing it !!!!





Ashok

few days back I slept at 11:30 in the ni8 and woke up in the morning at
7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 9.15 hours and laughed at
myself when I realised abt that.



Jyotsna

One from me too...

Just after our training completion in Mysore Dc and postings to Pune, me and
my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants..

And as I finished.. I started walking towards the Basin with plates in my
hand.. :)



Abhijeet

Jus to add...

Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask,
"why is she not attending the status call?"



Anup

I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet
connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way.

Till I realize - I am at home.





Rohit

Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also............while writing personal
mails also.........I jus use the way as if I am writing to onsite or some
senior person........

Jus forget that we are jus mailing our friends..............

And keeping hands in front of tap for waiting water to drop by itself is
very frequent with me...............I jus forget that we have to turn on and
off the tap...........





Nidhi

Awesome!!

Once after talking to one of my friend. I ended the conversation saying ..."
Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back"

(Hilarious!)



Nisha

Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message

from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe its in the recycle bin





Farina

I was about to throw my hanky into the bin after drying my hand.





Bhabani

Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the door with the keys.





Nisha

Kinda a same experience for me too..

I gave my office mail id and pwd to access Gmail and wondered when did they
become invalid???





Sandy

I have a experience to share tooo .. I was earlier working at the back
office of an international Bank. We used to 'dispatch' lot of Credit / Debit
cards and statements for the customers and track its delivery later.

Once my granma was admitted in a hospital, my team mate once casually asked
me " howz ur granma doing now ? still in hospital ? " ... and i replied to
her " She is better now , she will dispatched from the hospital tomorrow !"

This was followed by a loud laugh in the entire bay !





Sandeep

Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....pharmacist asked whr I want
250mg r 500mg.....suddenly I replied as 256mg...lol....thank god he didn't
noticed tht....





Ashwin

Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from a news channel
to the DVD while watching TV.





Vidyarthi

And I - after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder,
decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie,
when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom
right corner of the silver screen!





Venu

Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place wasn't
fixed yet. I said we shall decide it "run time"





Krishna

When I went to a movie theatre from office directly.. I showed the guy at
the entrance my ID card and walked in... he had to call me back asking the
ticket...





Rama

One late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flash my id card
to open the lock and only after few secs, I realised what i'm trying to do





Sridhar

Once I went to have juice at the local juice vendor and innocuously asked
him whether he had a plain 'version' of lemonade.





Arun

Few years back my shogun engine stopped on Bangalore MG Road as the petrol
came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike!





Satya

The other day I was hearing one guy talking of a "Standalone" house.. when
he was actually intending a independent house... Poor broker shud have tuff
time trying to find a " Alone house standing in a huge empty area... " don't
know what interpretations the guy must have made.

British airways....must read

TRUE STORY


What small steps are taken to achieve freedom for us all. This scene
took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg, South
Africa & London.

A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.
Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. 'You obviously do
Not see it then?' she asked. 'You placed me next to a black man.

I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group.
Give me an alternative seat.'
'Be calm please,' the hostess replied. 'Almost all the places on this
flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available.'

The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later... 'Madam,
Just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy
Class.
I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in
Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class.'
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. 'It is
not usual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit
in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the Captain feels
that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so
disgusting.'
She turned to the black guy & said, 'Therefore, Sir if you would like
to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First
Class..'

At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they
had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.

WELL DONE, British Airways

Tiff with Pesky

Friday,19-Jun-2009 :


Today, I had an unexpected tiff with a female colleague...lets call her "Pesky"....Pesky is known to be irritating and picking up figts unwantedly...

Since I never had to work with her, I never had much interaction.....so, Pesky's tiff with me was a big suprise.....

It all started when we were celebrating another colleague's bde at food court..let's name the b'de gal ,"Mimani"..Mimani was Pesky's team mate..As per the custom in the department, Pesky or another team member had to get a cake.

Pesky came to the food court with another girl...and saw that our small group was about to celebrate Mimani's bde..Pesky saw us...... She and her friend got the cake and left...And then ,she started bombarding Mimani with calls....Mimani told her that she would be back in 5 minutes...Obviously Pesky didn't want us to celebrate first......

Mimani 's husband too came and Mimani was ready to cut the cake...It was not even a minute since Pesky called and Mimani told her that it would take 5 minutes..But this is Pesky and she continued calling.....So, I picked up and asked her "did u send message to everybody in the department to come to tea room?"..well, that is how we normally celebrate......But Pesky did not respond......I then asked her "Is the cake set up ready at the tea place?".."who all r waiting?"... asked her repeatedly ..all she would say is "give 2 Mimani"..that too in a harsh tone....i then told her "don't worry, Mimani will be there in 5 minutes and so, you can keep the phone down"......
as promised, Mimani rushed back to cut the cake her team had got her...and there, in front of others, Pesky was being very rude to me.......saying things like "I learnt something 2day"....i said "good, at last you learnt something after a long time".....But Pesky was unnecessarily arguing.......................

Later ,she complained to "Malti", our common friend...and started lying........i told Malti the exact things i had told Pesky.......Pesky was saying something else.....I think Pesky does not understand English well..so that could be the problem....

Actually, Pesky had problems and tiffs with many others...Earlier with a few people, she had an arguments unncessarily......and then she would threaten to complain about them........

Now, Pesky is not abright performer..she is far from that....she is ,in fact, a very poor performer but then, how could she argue with many people and get away with that??? Well, she has the RIGHT CONTACTS...

She got the job because of her CONTACTS..........And so, despite being a poor performer and a dull looking and boring person, she gets to go to the team she wants and also, unnecessarily picks up fights with people and threaten to complain abouut them........

Despite her body of poor work ,team leads can not do anything as she has ,yeah right, the magic word again ,CONTACTS...........

I wish Pesky would realize that the job that she has, is not based on her merit but only because of influence and so, must be gratefulto her "stars". ....Instead of using her limited brains to trouble others, she must concentrate and try to prove herself to be a good resource at work..

Pigeon- Part 3

My youngest pigeon never returned. Not just that, its mom who had laid 2 more eggs and seemed very happy, abandoned the nest too. She managed to shift the eggs as well. I was really surprised she could do that.She probably thought its a bad omen since the youngest chick did not return, :-(

The elder chick who had been flying away every morning to return at night, too stopped coming. :-(

Now, i have 2 pigeons coming every morning, I think its the mom and her lover (aunt??). I feed them. And they fly away after sometime.

Starry airs on flight

click on the url below.

http://movies.indiatimes.com/articleshow/4579246.cms

Observations by an air hostess, it seems. Go through the 11 slides .You will be surprised to learn about Kareena and Kareena's behavior.

My Lost Pigeon :-)

I guess, you all, by now ,know that I had 2 pigeon chicks in my balcony, besides its mom and a friend (I am not sure if it is the father though it is constantly around. Earlier ,there was another small adult pigeon. I thought that was the father. I think the mom pigeon's character is not that good :-))

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that the 2 chicks had grown up considerably , under the mother's watchful eyes ,as well as mine . I would feed them almost everyday.

The elder chick started flying almost 2 weeks back. It left the balcony very early in the morning and returned by night. Everyday.

The younger chick never seemed to want to fly ,unlike its sibling. It seemed happy ,just lazing around ,playing with its mom and mom's friend (father?) ,eating the grains I gave.

But day before yesterday,early in the morning, when I peeped into their space, it was missing. I thought it learnt to fly and must have accompanied its sibling. I also expected it to return with the elder chick.


Alas, that was not to be. It did not return that night or yesterday night. Now, I am really worried.
Did n't it fly? Did it accidentally fall off the balcony ( even though it is not that easy to fall ,the edges have some kinda shields). Moreover, it was so comfortable out there in the balcony.

I am afraid it must have tried to fly and then, probably fell to the ground. In that case, a dog must have eaten it ,since there are so many of them around, thanks to all those cunning animal activists. Or, it must have been caught by some naughty kids. Or did it abandon its nest altogether?? Would it do that? Its sibling returns home every night and they never had any fights as far as I know. Plus, its mom has laid 2 more eggs and seems to very happy here. The friend( father?) too is quite content at my balcony.

It has been away since 2 days and 2 nights. I am going home now , hoping it must have returned. I am really the youngest pigeon.